![]() ![]() As a teenager I felt it from my two best friends. ![]() Early in life this came from my mother and my grandmother. I have been blessed with sustaining love. When you see someone dying, calm for hours then suddenly in terror, a look about them that breaks your heart in its agony, not from pain but from sheer terror, it changes you.Īnd I think when I die, I may also be terrified, and what I shall fear will be the loss of love. And that, I think, was the source of his terror. He told me to look after my mother.Īnd he told her he could not bear the thought of not being with her. ![]() I had hoped he would tell me he loved me. It was harrowing because even though he had told me only hours before his death that he was not afraid to die, in those last minutes, in the final hour, he seemed terrified. I don't mean the disgusting details of an aged body that does what it wants without regard to the brain's commands or social decorum, although there was enough of that as well. I don't mean the pain, although there was plenty of pain. ![]()
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